|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
ClosedMy heart is raw, ground into stone
There's nothing left for me to cling to
No hope shines a ray into the darkness
No pillar is there to support me
I only have darkness left to live in
My heart is forever closed.
Live in deathAn already wrangled, chewed up, shriveled heart you took
Made it healthy, beating, joyful, all alive again
Gave me a sense of security, belonging, home and hearth
Even went so far as to call me family
Then I heard the dreaded words, and knew from your silence
Now I live in death once more.
Rise againRise again, from the ashes, rise
Hunt again, for sustenance, hunt
Try again, to keep breathing, try
Hurl again, emptiness overcome, hurl
Nerves again, a pathetic bundle of nerves
Moody again, always a moody curr
Wish again, uselss always, wishing
Run again, nowhere to hide, run
Fall again, always stupid,fall
Rise again, from the ashes, rise
This time you truly die.
CeaseEven if it were written with pencil,
No matter how hard I tried it wouldn't erase.
No matter what I do our laughter echoes
Even though nothing will ever be the same.
There's no one who could replace him
But for him I am easily replaceable today.
I can't erase ears of fun, laughter, sunshine
All I can bear to do is continue to drown.
I know not what is good for me
I know only that I have loved and lost.
With m own two hands I have destroyed
That which I cherish more than life.
I love him more than breath itself
He is my life-love, my oldest dream
But my existence has no hold in his heart
How do I learn to once more die and breathe?
There is no song he ever thought to call ours
No dance he ever wanted me to dance with him
No night he ached to have me in his arms
No wonder he shudders at my approach
I am nothing but an infringement
On his life of light and joy
An interruption in his tranqility
It is better if I cease to be.
RebornThere are no limits to how high I can soar and how far the winds ruffling my feathers can take me. I hover but for a second to completely realize the path that lays before me. The journey behind is sound written in time but now choices stretch forward to clasp my hands. I am waiting, waiting just to choose or be chosen, and then the Sun will rise again and I will be reborn.
Living in a nightmareLiving in a nightmare interrupted by flashes of dreams
Each dream sweeter than the last
Wishing there was a single way to rush back
Claw my way into the recent past
Change what would have inevitably come to be
Delay the change, the pain a little longer
Back to nothing but nightmarish days
Back to the lack of joy in my ways
Back to the deluge of horrifying memories
Embarrassed I’m allowed to live.
La vie l'amourLove you tender, love you fierce
Love you so much I come to tears
Love the joy your existence brings
Love all your tender aches and fears
Love you more than breath itself
Love you so much that it heals
Love you with a passion that sears
La vie l’amour, I give freely all my years
CommitmentI won’t ever have anything but empty, pretty, sparkling words
Nothing but the sweet nothings you whisper into my ear sometimes
Nothing but the thought of you calling me baby and holding me close
Of saying “I love you darling,” as you walk nonchalantly away
No real proof of anything between us will ever exist, now or ever
No tangible source of comfort exists for me, and I’m a fool
I allow myself to be placated again and again, I keep staying with you
Commitment? The very thought terrifies you utterly
But still, I stay with you because I love you that much
I wanted to be the only one you held close enough to walk alongside
I wanted to be the one you wanted, one day, to create a family with
But I realize now that these are just foolish hopes, empty dreams
There’s nothing here but sand castles and momentary happiness
Someone wise taught me that fear will always rule me
Unless I do something about it and meet it head on
So I’m taking baby steps towards ac
The Boy Who Wouldnt EatIf you can flutter
I have failed you,
for you were not forged
to be so insubstantial as that
You were writ
to be an epic fable
of endings ignored,
of outlasting your body
through the sheer will
of a writers starving heart
through a broken, bowed
but bravely abiding body
that fights the soul
to comprehend Beauty.
Five AMPre-dawn darkness again, seething, quiet
A monster hugging the city
How heavy, how suffocating it is
The clock has run down on time for dreaming
A void between night and morning
Ready to swallow everything up
A time for old men's reflections
On love, and loss, and sorrow
Oppressive black sky, you eat everything
But the all-night diner
Where lonely old men sit
Drinking coffee at five AM
QuicksandYou trapped me
Dragged me below the surface
And held me there
You chained me
Put brass around my ankles
And left me struggling
You broke me
Beat me with whips made of hate
And hurt me more
You changed me
Made me who you wanted
And killed me inside
You hid me
Stole me away from the light
And made me blind
You crushed me
Blew my dust in the wind
And danced on my grave
surrounding my body
And now I'm twenty feet under
With no chance of being saved
From Your 'Secret' AdmirerHeaven,
this is not a love letter
I will swear to God,
with a halo on my head
and a hole in my heart.
But the fact is I revere you
more than I have any right to.
After all, we are nothing except
who have awkward conversations.
So why is it that every time the line
falls silent I panic, worrying that your shadow
will make my efforts nothing but a distant memory,
when every word you speak strongly marks my mind?
Simple: I fear having something to lose
and losing the nothing I have. You are
treasure to me, and this note becomes my confession.
Sincerely- I typed this, but I'm sure you'll recognize the handwriting.
................written in a frenzy and run-on
and exclamation points
used in rapid succession
words all blurred
so bare bones it's bloody
strung out and on display
in a frightening combination
of paragraphs and stanzas
punctuation gone mad
ellipses my new black
used and abused
then spit out
in gratuitous repetition
there is no word count here
no hearts dotting the i's
just a string of letters
done up in cursive
but not very pretty at all
Death, Judgment, RebirthLast Time in the ICU
Shadow rats, beady red eyes focused hungrily
Stay still too long and they’ll swarm
Sharp little teeth rending flesh
They know the sick and weak
They can wait
Tenth floor ICU, down with the disease again
He’s resting quietly, the nurse says
She looks like a huge black rat
Does she know what’s happening?
Closing the door
She walks away
Sweet childhood dreams are interrupted
Rats gnawing away at the edges
Toothy little kisses all over
Cleaning, cleansing scurry
Down to the bone
Sentenced to Live
Firelight, poker-faced patchwork man reading aloud
An old but vaguely familiar tome, his tone is somber
Was I one of the wicked? Weren’t we all?
Who can say that they were good?
Sentenced to live yet another life
I cry; I’ve had enough living
I want to sleep forever, leave my shell behind
To crumble to dust, useless, I won’t need it
Every door opens to the same world
Is this hell, then? The onl
give me a challenge, give me you.i have grown
the blood in my veins
have become more
than plasma, and i
am now trapped
within my own hollowed-out
this haze of
has to be transitory--
i can't let it be anything
The partyFlashing lights
Smoke all around
About to pass out
My head starts to hurt
I can't take this anymore
So without saying anything
I find the exit
And escape that place
"How can someone have fun in there?"
DistemperOh, did you scream?
No, ninety ravens
released from the rack of my ribs
in a ravage of wings
have disquieted the cat.
Oh, an aspirin for my mind
(lay your head in my hand
drink me down, feather-drown)
thin its belly-close blood
uphold the constitution
of my hollow-cast heart.
[Fire the dragon
the fairy waters her way
across the winter]
So stout, so ale,
hold fast, touch bone
Oh, you would rather die
than bring home bad meat.
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More